The Wall, or Should I Say “The Impenetrable Shield Being Projected From A Nearby Forest Moon”

I hate exercise. When people often point out my obvious weight I tell them “I didn’t sculpt this body running marathons” while sardonically grabbing some fold on my body. The idea of mindlessly running in a gym has never been appealing to me, I have weak ankles, I get asthma attacks, I get itchy when I sweat. I have an archive of excuses about why I hate working out.

I like playing though; playing sword fights in the SCA, playing against my friends with pull up contests or arm wrestling, playing on a wakeboard – but God no, not “working out”. For some reason none of those excuses matter when I am playing, if I need to hit my friend Clifton with a stick I swing through the breathlessness, when I go wakeboarding I make sure my bindings are REALLY tight. My excuses let me do the fun stuff but mystically prevent me from doing the boring stuff. One day I called bullshit on myself.

During runs, marathon runners often reference “the wall”, that spot where everything in your mind is telling you that you are done, and you should stop. For them it happens somewhere around the 20^th mile, for mortals like you and I it is closer to the 1^st. That is where most of us stop, because we hate running. Running is boring, it’s sweaty, and there are litanies of other things you could be doing that are far more comfortable. During these tough times I remember my motivation, I press on thinking “trooper’s gotta troop”. If I am going to wear the white, I gotta put up the fight. I think about all the money the armor is going to cost, and all the work I am going to be putting into it. I think about how I want to look in that armor and how I want to tell people I earned it. Then I own it, crank up the Imperial March up to 11, and press on.

Motivation is key to pressing on, there is a reason you came out to the gym, so don’t stand there doing everything but working out. I feel like the comic I linked gives off the impression that running for vanity, for being healthier and slimming down, is somehow ignoble. If we are going to be honest with ourselves there really is nothing wrong with running to trim a few pounds, after all no one is running to get better at 12oz curls and pie eating competitions.  That said, avoid being that person who goes to the gym and calls it a job well done just for showing up. The person who blithely walks for ten minutes while reading, or drinking some water, and then gets in their car and leaves, that person is just there to be seen and no one likes that person.

Remember, it’s easy being a Stormtrooper when it’s all hanging out with Dark Jedi’s and raiding Dantooine, but every now and again you have to earn it with a battle of Hoth. Here are some tips to trooping on:

Set Yourself Workout Goals, Then Stick to Them
This is where I started, I wanted to FINISH a 5K, not finish in 30 minutes, just finish period. My first 5K I finished in 35’30”, which isn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination. I am no Usain Bolt, but I got there. Once I got there, I could work on speeding up.

Broadcast Your Workout Goals
Like most people in the world you are probably on some social networking site. Use this as a support network. When you set a workout goal, post it on your site of choice and then follow up after the work out with the results. The ground swell of “likes” and “+1s” you get will be a huge motivator.

Celebrate Success
When I complete a goal, I take a “screw the haters” victory lap back home. Sweaty, staggering, and completely shirtless I run through my town back home. My fore mentioned layer of “jolliness” means I am not exactly Brad Pit, but anyone judging me can jump off a bridge. How many fitness goals have they hit today? How hard did they work? You earned the right to celebrate, whether that is on Facebook, or streaking through your neighborhood.

Forget the Failures
If you weren’t able to complete your goal, if you tried but you fell short, don’t worry about it, no one is going to force-choke you for it. You lapped everyone at home who sat on the couch, and you trounced that naturally skinny person who strolled on the treadmill while texting their friend. Broadcast the failure just like you would success, the amount of “you will get them next time”s and “you still did good”s mean that even when you fail, you succeed.  Once you get comfortable with failure, and the struggle against it, every trip to the gym will be a success.

TK-421 Why Aren't You On The Treadmill?

Welcome to Plastoid Pursuits! This isn’t just a blog about Stormtrooper armor, this is a blog about finding the motivation to eat right, and exercise. A lot of sites or magazines will show you ripped dudes next to fawning ladies in bikinis, and then tell you how you can live that sort of life in just six weeks of diet and exercise. We both know that isn’t true, and somewhere in the world there is an elephant graveyard of treadmills, Bowflexes, stationary bikes, and other gadgets that stand as a silent litany of failure to the “30 minutes a day/$29.95 a month” mentality. Instead we show you Stormtrooper armor.

Why do so many people fail at weight loss? I feel folks are motivated by something that is unattainable and I don’t mean in the “perfect cherry blossom” sort of way like you find in haikus. I am talking about this goal that in 6 weeks you are going to become some tanned Adonis. A lot of people find themselves two weeks into that goal, and they are still the same person, just hungrier, and then give up. Why shouldn’t you? You have sort of been sold a bill of false goods.

So let’s talk about the real goal, let’s talk about why you want to lose weight, and let’s talk about what is motivating you to lose that weight. Do you want to be ripped? Do you want to be healthier? Do you just want to trim a few inches?

In the end, I just want to look healthy in a shirt and jeans. I was told part of any good weight loss plans is milestones and rewards. The trouble is you can’t reward yourself with a fancy dinner, or cake and pie; then you are going to put the weight back on. This got me thinking about what I wanted out of looking healthy and I settled on a suit of screen accurate regulation Stormtrooper armor.

I have loved Star Wars since I was in elementary school, and very few things are as iconic as the white plastoid encased enforcers of theGalactic Empire. When I was svelte and young enough to begin Jedi training, I couldn’t afford the armor. Now that I am older, and wealthier, I am also considerably more rotund. So my goal of a healthy BMI of 24.0, 190lbs for my height, means I will not only look sharp in my civvies, but in the black body glove of the noble Stormtrooper. The last thing I want is to be trooping around, and some snobby Senator from Alderaan asks me “aren’t you a little fat to be a Stormtrooper?”

That is what this blog is about, healthy weight loss goals. Not getting cut in six weeks, but building the habits necessary to properly oppress the citizens of the Empire. It’s a big galaxy out there, and if you are going to be catching smugglers, boarding Corellian Corvettes, and chasing down Jedi you aren’t going to want to bring that spare tire along.